Thank God It's Beerday!

Sam Adams Patriot Homebrew Contest!

Sam Adams has just launched it's Patriot Homebrew contest! This year the winner gets to have their beer brewed at the Samuel Adams Boston Brewery and served at the New England Patriot's Gillette Stadium (that is, if the Patriots don't end up cheating their way out of the league!) for the 2008 Season!

If you're a homebrewer and want to give this a shot, check out the TV commercial here then surf on over to their website to fill out the application here ASAP!


Pyramid Goes Imperial!

Pyramid Brewery is rolling out the first in a line of new limited edition, specialty brews they're calling "Brewers Reserve". Their first beer in the series is Imperial Hefeweizen (at a whopping 7.5% ABV), available at finer beer joints and in 22oz bottles if you're lucky enough to have a good liquor outlet nearby.

The Imperial Hefe is a smooth, unfiltered ale featuring a "pleasant" hop flavor with a more full-bodied and robust taste then their world class Hefeweizen. The limited edition ale is brewed in small batches of less than 120 barrels and uses a combination of 60% malted wheat with Nugget and Tettnang hops.

I'm a lover of all beers Pyramid, 'specially their Hefe... I can not wait to try this bad boy on for size!

BREAKING NEWS! A brand new, late year beer fest has been announced for here in Colorado Springs! The 1st Annual All Colorado Beer Festival!

The All Colorado Beer Festival will take place on November 10, 2007 in connection with the Veterans Day Weekend. The festival will be held at the Mr. Biggs Event Center. There will be two sessions: Noon until 4:30 PM and 5:30 until 10:00 PM. There will be food, merchandise, entertainment, and a designated driver program at each session. Tickets to the festival will be $25 ($20 in advance) and will include unlimited 1-oz. beer samples. All military with a valid ID will receive the advance ticket price at the door. Proceeds of the festival will benefit THEATREWORKS and the USO.

Be(er) there! I will be(er)! Have a good weekend all!

17 Bottles of Beer on the Wall, 17 Bottles of Beer...

Did you know that it's possible for a human being to consume 17 twelve ounce beers (and 3/4 of a gallon of Bloody Mary's) in a seven hour period? The beer alone is equal to 3 gallons (6 liters for my European amigos reading this).

I know this because my brother and I each drank that much Sunday while indulging in an orgy of National Football League games. Is it a good thing when the waitress says she's never seen anyone drink so much Easy Street Wheat and remain coherent? A Boston bartender once told me the same thing about Guinness. I'm not sure if that's something I should be proud of or not. Thoughts?

Our new favorite sports bar (Indigo Joe's) was packed to the rafters on Sunday as the 2007/2008 NFL season began. Good times were had by all (even if my St. Louis Rams looked like crap - hey, at least they're not as bad as the Michigan Wolverines) in our group, affectionately referred to as "The League of Extraordinarily Professional Sportsters & Drinkers." (TM, R with the little circle, etc.)

Indigo Joe's has a decent selection of beer, including the aforementioned wheat stylings from Odell Brewing Company. Of course, they don't have nearly the selection that the Yard House does. A few weeks ago we were up in the Denver area and finally experienced this most excellent of beer bars. While they don't serve beer in full yard tall glasses anymore (due to the expense of replacing them when they break), they still serve up the over 100 different beers in half yard glasses (see new photo in the side banner), which are still something of a feat to drink from. Especially after you've had a few of them! If you're ever on the west side of the Denver suburbs (Lakewood to be exact), you owe it to yourself to stop in for
a beer or three.

Any good beer aficionado - er, I mean frat drinking beer boy - has seen the movie Beer Fest. Who hasn't had a hankerin' to drink beer from a boot? Well, now you can... with the original Das Boot! I have to get me one of these and see if the key to finishing it off really is to twist it at the end.

So the wife's out in Nashville on business and she went to a place called the Flying Saucer Draught Emporium. Never heard of the place, which is startling considering that it's a pretty big chain down in the south. And it has beer. LOTS OF BEER! She said I would have been in beervana. After taking a gander at their website, I can see why! It's much like the Yard House, but very possibly - better. Anyone out there been to one? These places look magnificent! Mmmmm... beeeeeeeer.

Until next time... keep the beer at it's appropriate serving temperature!

Chili & Beer!

This little internet story isn't new, but it's still one of the funniest things I've ever read. So for old time's sake...

A Texas Chili Contest

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the advent: (Frank is Judge #3)

Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili

• Judge #1: A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
• Judge #2: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
• Judge #3: (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
  

Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili

• Judge #1: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeño tang.
• Judge #2: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
• Judge #3: Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
  

Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

• Judge #1: Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
• Judge #2: A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
• Judge #3: Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer...
  

Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic

• Judge #1: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
• Judge #2: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
• Judge #3: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
  

Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover

• Judge #1: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
• Judge #2: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
• Judge #3: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!

Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety

• Judge #1: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
• Judge #2: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
• Judge #3: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili

• Judge #1: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
• Judge #2: Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. *(I should take note that I am Worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.)
• Judge #3: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it! I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
  

Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili

• Judge #1: The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
• Judge #2: This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

* Teresa, thanks for passing this on to me and reminding me how funny it was!!!!

RIP Mr. Jackson

It is with a sad and heavy heart that I come to you today...

If you haven't heard the news yet, Michael Jackson, the world's foremost beer writer died yesterday in his home at the age of 65. Unbeknownst to most, Mr. Jackson had Parkinson's Disease. To read more, go here.

Kind of eerily ironic that my last post was "The Be(er)attitudes" as this "prayer" of sorts fits perfectly for Mr. Jackson. So if you wouldn't mind... bow your head, recite that prayer, or give a moment of silence to one of the great luminaries ("rock stars" as I put it) of the Beer World. And over this Labor Day Weekend, be sure to raise a pint and salute the man who helped make craft beer a household name.

To you Mr. Jackson... may you look down upon us from Heaven with a full, frosty glass of beer. You will be missed.

The Be(er)atitudes

Blessed are the beer drinkers,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are the beers,
for they shall be in the hand.

Blessed are they who mourn over lost beers,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after beer,
for they shall have their fill.

Blessed are the maltiful,
for they shall obtain hops.

Blessed are the clean of palate,
for they shall taste good beer.

Blessed are the beer makers,
for they shall be called the children of God.

Blessed are they that suffer persecution for the lack of good beer,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.


* No idea who originally created this or where it sprang forth from, but props to you my fellow beer lover!

Ireland's 'Ancient' Love Affair With Ale

Dateline Ireland - Sky News Service - By John Kelly Updated: 04:17, Sunday August 19, 2007

The Bronze Age Irish were as fond of a beer as their modern-day counterparts, according to new research.

The brewing process

Two County Galway archaeologists have put forward the theory that one of the most common ancient monuments across Ireland may have been used for brewing ale.

For years, fulacht fiadh (pits or recesses), were thought to have been used as ancient cooking pits.

But archaeologists Billy Quinn and Declan Moore disagreed with that widely-held view, arguing that it would surely have been easier to roast meat over an open fire rather than boil it.

They believe that the fulacht fiadh were, in fact, the country's earliest breweries - dating Ireland's brewing industry way back to 2500BC - somewhat earlier than Arthur Guinness, who began brewing his black stuff in Dublin in 1759.

Mr Quinn even admitted that the idea came to him one morning while he was nursing a hangover.

To prove their theory, the Galway boffins have recreated the brewing process, which involves using heated stones to boil the water in the pit. A wicker sieve is lowered into the water, and milled barley is then poured into the sieve.

After just 45 minutes, a thick syrupy liquid is skimmed off into a fermentation vat - with the final brew ready for drinking in a few days.

After their very first attempt, the archaeologists were convinced they were on the right track. "It tasted really good," said Mr Quinn.

"We were very surprised. It tasted like a traditional ale, but was sweeter because there were no hops in it."

Aidan Murphy, from the Galway Hooker Brewery, has also tasted the brew and he is in no doubt that the archaeologists have got it right. "It's really great," said Mr Murphy.

"It is really well balanced, with a very earthy flavour to it. I'm certainly convinced and I think any brewery would be happy with this."

Despite the glowing review, the archaeologists say they have no plans to brew the ale commercially.

But they will describe their experiment in detail in next month's Archaeology Ireland magazine for anyone who fancies having a go at a spot of Bronze Age home brewing themselves.


* Thanks for bringing this to my attention Steven!

The Art of Reviewing Beer

As some of you may have noticed, my reviews aren't so much "reviews" as they are "suggestions." It's not that I don't know how to perform a review, since I do just that as an Associate PC Editor for GameDaily... it's just that I don't like getting that detailed about my beer. At least not yet.

I leave all the technobabble - the specific hops, what the beer smells like, or what flavors can be tasted on the front, back and sides of your mouth as it washes down your gullet - to the likes of Michael Jackson (the other Michael Jackson), my buddy Ed Sealover who writes for the Colorado Springs Gazette and the many others who actually know what they're talking about.

Me? I'm the Every Beer Man. A category somewhere far above the Neanderthal Keystone guzzler yet far below the fully evolved Chimay (a Trappist Monk beer) connoisseur. I love my craft beer with a passion, but not so consumed by it (wife edit: not consumed by it my ass!) that I know every little nuance about every beer.

For me... I either like how a beer tastes, or I don't. What it's brewed with only has a marginal impact on whether I'll like it or not. I've been known to go in spurts. For instance, there was a time when all I consumed was Pyramid's "sissy la la" (as some called it) Apricot Weizen (called Apricot Ale back then). While I still enjoy the fruity beers, I drink a lot of different styles now. In the summer it's almost exclusively Hefe, wheats, pils, and I've even started to like some hoppy pales (although IPAs are still way too strong for me liking). Stouts and Porters, my mainstays during the cold winter months, taste horrid during the hot summer and vice versa with lighter ales in the winter.

So there ya have it... me in a beer nutshell.

I finally received my Sam Adams specialty glasses the other day. Cracked them out, washed them down and gave 'em a whirl. At first glance you don't think an entire 12 oz. beer will fit - but it does. If you pay particular attention, you'll notice that liquid pours into these glasses much differently then the flat sided pint glasses of old. It actually creates a swirling effect that "opens" up the beer. Furthermore, the bead inside the rim of the glass actually does something - what, I'm not sure. I'm not a physicist, I'm a beer drinker! It just does something different to the beer as it tumbles over the edge into your mouth. The curvature of the rim also feels absolutely perfect as it rests on your bottom lip. This sucker is worth the money!

Has anyone else out there purchased these, and if so... what do you think of them?

Until next time... Zivjeli! (which means "to life" in Croatian; ironic that my name is the last three letters of this great word, dontcha think?).

Craft Lager Festival '07

Went to the Craft Lager Festival up in Manitou Springs on Saturday. It's the first time I've been to this fest, now in its 5th year. Not bad, but I likely won't be going to another. If you check out their website they tout that they've been listed as a top 10 beer festival by USA Today. Um... no offense, but USA Today must not go to many beer fests. Seriously, that's the most bogus claim I've read in some time. I've been to 10 BETTER fests just in this state... that doesn't include the one's I've been to in California and Oregon. Sorry, Manitou's Craft Lager Festival doesn't even get honorable mention in my book.

It was a quaint little ("little" being the operative word) location with horrific parking. Manitou Springs is simply not built for things like this. What's more, it was in a dog park. I wasn't really keen to the whole idea of drinking beer while knowing that I was walking on top of bark that dogs have been doing their business on for years. I have dogs, and you can't really clean up bark if you know what I mean. Lastly... it cost a whopping $25* per person to get inside to taste the warez of some 30 breweries, most of which I've already tasted numerous times.

* The Great Ameican Beer Festival is only charging $45 (in advance), which by way of comparison - this festival could fit into the bathrooms at GABF.

Maybe it's just me.

Fortunately we came across a gem of a beer that in part made it worth the while, even if we can't get their beer in bottles - yet. San Luis Valley Brewing Company (way down Alamosa way) had a spectacular Hefeweizen called Hefe Suave that was perhaps the smoothest wheat beer I've ever tasted. Absolutely mouth watering. Talked with Scott Graber, the brewer at SLVB... he said they just purchased a hand bottler so we should start seeing some bombers in the near future. HALLELUJAH!

The Beer Prayer

Let us bow our heads...

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
At home as it is in the pub.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill upon us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.

By Barmen

Amen brother... amen.

A History of the World

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for the m to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservation movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, sailors, airmen, soldiers, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

And here ends today's lesson in world history.

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.

* I have no idea where this originally came from, but thanks for passing it along to me Larry!

A Public Service Annoucement for... BEER!

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, pubs and other party-goes to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.

A date rape drug on the market called "beer" is being used by many females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, and in large-quantity containers known as kegs.

Beer is used by female sexual predators to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Most men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to desires to perform sex acts with horrific looking women to whom they would never otherwise be attracted. After drinking beer, men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, but with a vague feeling that something bad has occurred.

Other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings in a follow-up scam known as "a relationship." It has been reported that, in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory female.

PLEASE WARN EVERY MALE THAT YOU KNOW!

If you or someone you know have fallen victim to this insidious "beer" and the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with venues in many towns where details of shocking encounters may be discussed in an open, frank, supportive manner with similarly affected men. For the support group nearest you, refer to the "Golf Courses" Section in your local yellow pages.

* Taken from Harps World (thanks for sending this to me Steven)

D'oh!

With all the hubbub over the Simpson's Movie the last few weeks I thought I'd drop a few of these nuggets o' knowledge on ya...

Everyone knows that Homer's beer of choice is Duff Beer. And Springfield, Vermont, was recently voted as the "hometown" of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie. Well, Alan Newman and his wacky "cosmic symphony" at Magic Hat Brewing in South Burlington, Vermont, created a special version of Duff Beer for the world premiere.

Beer. It's what's for... dessert?

Beer Cupcakes. Need I say more?

And now for something just as sweet...

Click on image to enlarge and read the entire article. FUNNY stuff!
Thanks for sending these to me Steven!

Beer. Approprate for all things!

Thanks to our friends Mark and Heather out in Iowa (who we met in Negril, Jamaica during our vacation this past April) for sending over these absolutely hilarious beer related photos. Thanks guys!

Panic Floods Ireland!

We’ve all seen the faces of those ravaged by the floods of Sri Lanka and New Orleans… This "award-winning" photograph of the recent flood waters rising in Ireland captures the horror and suffering there. Keep these people in your thoughts and prayers!

Moving on to a lighter note...

The Cat's Meow

Now what would happen if the Cat in the Hat got drunk? Ponder no longer!

The Chronicles of Brewing, Part Three - El Finito!

Entry #4, Wednesday, July 18, 2007

This my friends is a bitter beer face.

Yup, my first batch of homebrew was a miserable failure. It looked good, had a nice head, but didn't smell right. And the taste? Sour? You don't know the half of it. Simply stated, this isn't beer I'd let my dog drink.

But I'm not going to let that deter me. I've ordered up a fresh batch of ingredients (I'm hoping the fact that this sucker sat around for 3 years was the culprit) and I'll give it the ole college try one more time. If that fails, well... like many things in life - I tried, I failed, I learned from my mistakes and moved on.

Thankfully the world's supply of beer does not rest on my shoulders.

Three Sheets to a Beer Nut

I have a new "favorite" show and its name is Three Sheets (not Beer Nutz as one might expect). Both shows can be found on Mojo, 100% hi-def channel that presents all of its content in the highest quality 1080i picture and 5.1 surround sound.

Three Sheets follows comedian Zane Lamprey as he traverses the globe on an international drinking tour to master the local drinking customs. The world's biggest pub crawl indeed! I'd tell you more about Beer Nutz, but I can't seem to find any information about it anywhere on Mojo's own website. I've heard from fellow BeerAdvocates that it has been canned. Not a shock considering...

I've watched one episode of Beer Nutz (Portland), and two episodes of Three Sheets (Ireland and Mexico). Three Sheets is by far the funnier of the two shows, and actually very informative. Granted, it's not always about beer, but still... I found the whole process of how tequila is made (as shown in the Mexico episode) to be very fascinating. I had no clue! The tidbits that Zane (funniest host with the best paying gig EVER) throws out (did you know that the optimum drinking time after the first pour of a Guinness is 119.5 seconds according to Guinness; and did you know there should actually be two pours when dispensing this dark, thick stout?), the way the show is produced and edited - outstanding! Funny, irreverent, informative... what more can you ask?!

Beer Nutz on the other hand... both of the hosts should be hogtied and dropped in a mash tun. They're both complete dorks with zero sense of comedic timing and even less knowledge of (or interest in) craft beer. These two are the LAST guys they should have hosting the show, and probably the reason it got canned. Sad because this show had SO much potential! They go to very cool breweries and interview the legends of the industry, but... the hosts simply don't care, and they have this gawd-awful review system wherein they judge who the biggest "beer nut" is in the town the visit by awarding them a number between 1 and 5 - kegs. DOH!

I wonder if a letter writing campaign from the legion of craft brew fans out there could generate some buzz to bring it back... with new hosts. Who's with me!?

Beer Nutz!

So I was channel surfing last night (after finally getting around to watching the History Channel's Star Wars Tech show that aired way back on May 28th) and came across a show on the INHD Channel called "Beer Nutz." Apparently this is (or was) a series about beer that I've never seen or even heard about before. The episode I DVRed (and havent' watched yet) last night featured McMenamins brewery up in Oregon, where Fran and I were just at.

After doing some research, I discovered that Season 1 is being released on DVD on July 24th. But I can't find any recent info on this show, or whether it's even still on the air. There's a couple of threads over on BeerAdvocate.com about it, but again - nothing recent. If anyone has any more info on this show, let me know. I'm gonna track down this DVD the second it drops and let ya'll know how it is.

The Chronicles of Brewing, Part Two

Entry #3, Friday, July 13, 2007

"Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor..." (Drowning Pool)

One might think that the ironic timing of tasting a homebrew for the first time on Friday the 13th would not bode well. The good news is I'm still alive and my body did not in fact hit the floor after giving "Mad Man Golden Lager" a try.

Bad news? Well, it's not that my first homebrew is bad per say... it just ain't all that good either. It looks good - cloudy like a Hefe (it still has to go through the clarification stage in the fridge), smells good, and retains a nice head... it's just not very tasty at this point. It has a taste, I think, but of what... not sure. Not any lager I've ever had that's for sure. With any luck - any luck that's not bad given the whole Friday the 13th thing - it might turn out to be drinkable. Only time (five more days to be precise) as they say, will tell.

Fran wanted to give it try and it was better then she was expecting. Coming from a non-beertriot (beer + patriot = beertriot) that says a little somethin' somethin'. At this point I'm pretty impressed with Ole Keggy's ability to bang out brew. I also have to take into account that I did receive this kit some 3 years ago and the contents, while hermetically sealed against the ravaging elements and (to some degree) time... they're still three years old. I've ordered a fresh new Honey Beer Kit for my next project. That might "git-r-done."

One thing I can say thus far - I'm having fun. Remember that old (it played in the late 70's) commercial for Heinz Ketchup that used Carly Simon song's "Anticipation?" Well, that about sums it up for home brewing. There's a feeling that's similar to the one you had as a kid waiting to open presents on Christmas morning. If this next batch o' brew works out, I'm thinking about graduating to a more serious set up. This one from Williams Brewing looks intriguing. I'd like reader input on this, so if anyone has any thoughts, or knows of an even better system (that is simple enough that I won't blow my house up, or cost me an arm and a leg), please let me know!

As I said, five more days until the brew is done done. Five more days of sitting in the fridge chilling and clarifying. Five more days of anticipation. Check back Wednesday night for the results of the final taste test!

Until then, keep this maxim from Dave Barry (the famous humor columnist) in mind: "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."

The Chronicles of Brewing, Part One

A few years ago my folks got me a homebrew kit for my birthday. The Beer Machine - AS SEEN ON TV! - is a nifty little gadget, but it hasn't done much brewing. OK, it hasn't done any brewing. Alas, the little keg that could has been relegated to sitting idly down in my beer room staring up at my fellow beer-patriots and I as we walked in and out, in and out, in and out... grabbing bottles of pre-made beer from the icy cold fridge. Instead Lil Keggy (so what if I've nicknamed my beer machine?!) has been collecting a form of yeast as yet to be useful in the actual brewing of beer.

Until now.

What follows will be a chronicle of my adventures in brewing my first batch of beer with The Beer Machine. This first endeavor will be called "Mad Man Golden Lager." I'm calling it this because it is a golden lager mix, I am "The Mad Man," and since this is my first attempt at brewing a beverage that I will actually ingest into my body - it might quite literally make me mad. If that should happen... send help. Please. So, without further ado... on with the show.

The Chronicles of Brewing, Part One

Entry #1: Sunday, July 8, 2007

I drink beer. That's what I do. Way back in my first semester of college (wow, was that really 22 years ago?) I dove in with the fervor - some would call it plain ole naivety - of an 18 year old ready to take on the world. Sadly, I choose to take on the world of science. By the time that first semester ended I knew that I never wanted to have anything to do with science ever again. Not ever.

Fast forward a few decades to my current state of beertopia. As I said - I drink beer. The actual brewing I left to better (and decidedly much more intelligent) men. Then I turned the Big Four Ooooh, and my quaint lil world changed. As Yoda once said (yes, my inner geek still lives even after 40 years), "Do or do not. There is no try." These days my ears are actually starting to resemble those of that little old geezer.

But I digress... as I'm wont to do now that I'm middle aged.

I've decided to throw my much maligned sense of science out with the mash tun water, and brew my own beer. I'm starting small. Small as in Yoda small. Small as in The Beer Machine small. If the whole process of allowing yeast to ferment under pressure happens to go completely sideways, it won't blow my house up. At most I'll lose a few breweriana items, maybe a wall.

I crack open the kit and read through the directions for once in my life. Men, as we all know, do not read directions. Why should we? Most of the words are either way over our heads or fail to correspond to any one of the 4,326 illustrations in said directions - which all look like they were crudely drawn by a 3rd grader using a charcoal briquette. Why waste time reading when we could be trying to put a square peg in a round hole?!

But read I do nonetheless. Saint Arnold must have been looking down on me because had I not read the directions I'm pretty sure I would have blown up a portion of my basement trying to incorrectly insert the CO2 cartridge into the thingeemajig atop The Beer Machine.

After a relatively brain pain free thirty minutes or so I had the contraption assembled and the essential ingredients (water, golden lager beer mix and brewer's yeast) mixed inside - fermenting away!

The next phase = the hardest part, which amounts to a lot of waiting. For the next five days The Beer Machine must remain undisturbed as it goes about the fermentation process. God may have rested on the seventh day, but The Mad Man gets to get his drink on two days sooner!

Entry #2: Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I have to do something to fill the time between Day 1 and Day 5, and what better thing to do then make my body - which as they say is my temple - fit for beer consumption! During my work out I take time out to investigate The Beer Machine and find that all the foaming bubbles have vanished. Science my friends... science!

I'll save you all the tedium I've been experiencing and won't post again until Day 5 (which will be Friday). Tune in next time when you'll (hopefully) hear me say "Damn howdy that's good beer!" and not the thud of a body hitting the cold vinyl floor.

Git-R-Done!

So much beer news... so little time. Let's dive in shall we?!

A microbrewery in the little down of Pawnee City, Nebraska, recently released a beer honoring America's Redneck, Larry the Cable Guy. Launched on July 7 by Schilling Bridge Winery & MicroBrewery, Git-R-Done beer is named after the comic's world famous catchphrase. Pawnee City is home to both Schilling Bridge and Dan Whitney (aka Larry the Cable Guy). "The light beer is made from high-quality ingredients with more 'flavor and body' than popular corporate beers," said Mike Schilling, owner/operator of previously mentioned establishment.

Fran and I spent the 4th of July holiday up in the Portland, Oregon, area. During our trip I got to taste a bounty of new brews and visit a few very cool breweries. Let's start with the beers (at least the one's I remember): MacTarnahan's Oregon Honey Beer, Henry Weinhard's Summer Wheat, Sierra Nevada Summerfest, Metolius Golden Stone Amber Ale, Beach Bum from - GULP! - Anheuser-Busch (which is getting a pretty heady review at BeerAdvocate), and a few others I can't seem to remember. I did have something from Deschutes Brewery, either the Mirror Pond Ale or the Twilight Ale, but which one... no idea. Anywho, they were all very tasty for summer brews. I'm not found of Sierra Nevada, but their Summerfest was darn tasty. And AB's Beach Bum was, very surprisingly, quite good.

The pièce de résistance though was Bridgport Brewery's Haymaker Extra Pale Ale. Absolutely outstanding! This bright gold ale is made with four malts and three varieties of hops. It's very refreshing and flavorful without being over the top. It contains 5.3 percent alcohol (by volume). Haymaker was first released in May (just in time for Summer) and will be available through September, but only in the 18 most Western states. Grab some while you can!

Oregon is home to more breweries than even Colorado. Fran and I have been to many a bar and breweries over the years (no Barfly's Anonymous? time to set one up!). None are more original then the one we stumbled onto (thanks to Fran's sister Kathy for the recommendation!) - McMenamins. By now you all know I'm not one to mince words or find myself lacking when it comes to jibberjabbering, but to try and explain in so many words excactly what this wholly bizarre yet exquisite establishment is... fails even me. Check out their website for all the details, and if you ever find yourself in Troutdale, Oregon, do yourself a favor and check out their Edgefield Brewery. Beer geeks will have heard of their Terminator Stout, which is fairly world famous, but you must check out their Ruby (the first beer in the US to be brewed with fruit, in this case raspberries), their Wheat, and Hammerhead Pale Ale (their biggest seller).

With all this beer to drink, one needs the perfect beer glass in which to drink from, right? Well, Sam Adams has just the glass. Jim Koch, King Brewba of The Boston Beer Company (makers of the Samuel Adams line of hoptastic beers), got together with some scientists and engineers to design the world's best pint glass. Apparently, they got-r-done. According to Paul Pacult, a consultant on the project (and Editor of the Spirit Journal newsletter), "I've consulted on glass shapes for wine and whiskey, but as far as beer goes, this is the first one designed specifically for a lager beer by people who aren't in the glass industry. And it definitely makes a difference in experiencing taste and aroma." (photo taken from the Colorado Springs Gazette)

With an endorsement like that I ordered up a set of 4 (for $30) from the Sam Adams E-store. They're so popular that they're starting to show up in pubs and bars across the country. In fact, the glasses are currently on a 2-4 week backorder, so you better grab them while you can!

I'll leave you with this thought from the great Winston Churchill: Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

Amen.

Beer - American as Apple Pie and Chevrolet!

Ameri-CAN.

As in... copper can. As in the copper beer can that my sister and brother-in-law found in the basement at their home in Oregon. This particular copper beer can of Hop Gold True Lager came from the Star Brewery in Vancouver, WA. The date stamped on the top reads April 28, 1939.

I did a little research on the Internet and found this can (in really good shape) going for $1,750. Sadly, the can they found wasn't nearly as nice, but still... it's a wonderful piece of Americana. Beer has had a tremendous impact on the development of this country, more of which I'll get into later. There was a time (several actually) where beer was an everyday drink, consumed by kids and adults like.

I found very little information on Star Brewery on the web, other then they restarted operation in 1933 (immediately after prohibition ended). If anyone has any solid info about Star, please let me know!

I love Oregon. Do you know that it's the only state in the Union that has an entire month legislatively dedicated to craft beer and microbreweries. The entire month is full of craft beer related events. Sadly, I won't be here for any of them! So last night we improvised and had a mini-beerfest here at the lake house. Haymaker Pale Ale from Bridgeport Brewing (in Portland) is unequivocally a fantastic beer. For a more refined review of this beer, check out Jason's Alstrom's review over on Beeradvocate. If you can suck a few bottles down, I highly recommend you do so on this most American of holidays. Enjoy!

Why?

So, what prompted me to dedicate a blog just to beer? A few things actually.

First, there's the fact that I love to write, and I love to write about beer. Goes without saying. Secondly, I turned 40 back on April 7. Which by the way was the 74th anniversary of the legalization of beer for those not paying attention. Next year's 75th anniversary - PARTY! But I digress...

At 40, things change. In this case me and my immediate family have been talking about a great many things (more on that later). Frankly, as the old saying goes: "It's time to shit or get off the pot." In Januray of this year that feeling hit me regarding my "never endingly-finished" (trademarked, pay me to use it!) novel. I've been working on this thing for 5+ years. It was time to write it - or don't. I had 20 pages 6 months ago. I have almost 100 now. I've stalled over the last two months (meaning I haven't written a damn thing), but I've gotten back on the horse recently.

The same can be said for all the crap we've talked about doing for the last 5 or so years (more on that latter; I'm just not ready to divulge my plans for world beer domination... or something like that). Anywho, I'm tired of just talking about it. It's time to do something about it, or stop talking about it and just keep on living life like most people in today's world - too afraid (or brainwashed by their own fears) to get off the couch and make their dreams come true.

Third, a new wave of marketing is sweeping the craft brew industry. Actually, you're taking part in it by reading this blog. That's right - blogs. I heard rumors of this before now, but the latest issue of Beeradvocate confirms it. According to Jason Feifer's "Beer News" article: "as brewers look for ways to announce their latest beers, bloggers are increasingly part of their plans."

I don't surf, but by God I want in on this wave!

According to Paula Johnston, Bridgeport Brewing's (Oregon's oldest craft brewery) marketing manager, "When we launch a new product, we want everybody and their brother to know about it."

Jason Feifer goes on to explain that "beer bloggers may not have the same clout as professional reviewers (which I just so happen to be, just not of beer; not yet anyway!) nor the same reach as newspapers or magazines, but they have devoted followings and can help spread the word about good new brews."

Amen brother... amen!

Case in point: I recently bought my dad a membership to the Microbrewed Beer of the Month Club for his birthday. The first package arrived last week and we got to sample (OK, fully enjoy) all 4 of the fine brews included in this months' package. Two were from Two Brothers Brewing in Warrenville, Illinois, and two were from Clipper City Brewing in Baltimore, Maryland. They were all spectacular! My pops and I would never have discovered these wonderful brews if not for this club. They are well worth the price of admission folks.

From Two Brothers we sampled The Bitter End Pale Ale. For me to say any pale ale is good is a feat unto itself because I am not big on bold hoppiness. Then we had had - a daring direction for an American craft brewery I have to admit - Domaine DuPage French Country Ale. I'm about as fond of anything French (damn frogs) as I am of pale ales. The Domaine was - dare I say - exquisite. I'd keep this in my fridge on a regular basis.

From Clipper City we had the Clipper City Gold Ale and the Peg Leg Imperial Stout (at a hefty 8% A/V), one of their "Heavy Seas" line of beers. In this the "Year of the Pirate" I would pimp this till the treasure was found. I love the marketing direction Clipper City uses. The Gold Ale was good (it should be since it won some awards a few years back), but I could use a never ending supply of the Peg Leg during the winter months. It's one damn fine (chocolaty) stout that would go perfect with snow on the ground and a fire roaring.

By the way, take a look at Hugh Sisson's (Clipper City's head brewer) "Diary of a Brewer" blog which I added to the list off to the left. It's a very cool look into things from a brewer's (of renown) perspective.

Damn I can ramble. OK, so I've sucked down a few today. SUE ME! So with that...

Until next time, keep the taps full. Ya never know when I might be dropping by!

Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

Welcome to the Wonderful World of Beer!

Beer isn't just a concoction of hops and barley fermented into a perfect blend of beery goodness meant to inebriate... it's so much more.

This blog will delve into all things beer, from the mainstream to the minutia. Including the rarely acknowledged historical sway that beer has had on the course of human endeavors. Another one of my passions is history. And even to the most experienced beer geek (which I am most certainly not), the historical roots of brewing beer run deep through not just Europe or this country, but the entire world.

Take for instance - this little tidbit: three years ago an archeology team discovered a brewery over 1,000 years old on a mountaintop in Peru. It dates back to the Wari Empire's occupation of Cerro Baúl (AD 600-1000). Photo by Patrick Ryan Williams, courtesy of The Field Museum.

But let's go back even further...back to Ninkasi, the Sumerian Goddess of Brewing and Beer.

13,000 years ago (give or take a millennium) our nomadic forefathers stopped wandering aimlessly about the vast landscape and decided to set up permanent homes. One of the first things they planted and harvested was grain. To keep the grain from going bad they would bake it into bread and store it. Another 5,000 years trundles by... ancient text show these nomads-turned-farmers, most likely be accident, discovered that if they baked the sweetest grain and left it out to moisten would cause it to ferment, resulting in an inebriating pulp. Thus, they not only "created" the fermentation process, but also... the first beer!

Bounce ahead 7,700 years or so to the North American continent yet to be named the United States of America. The group of patriots who would later become known as the Founding Fathers - George Washington, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Samuel Adams, etc. - not only drank beer, but nearly all of them brewed their own beer.

I would be remiss in not at least mentioning the impact that Germany had on the history of beer. I'll get to that in more detail later since I'm married to a 100% German woman who, as fates would have it, has many relatives in Germany - one of which owns and operates more than one brewery. Aaaaaaah... heaven.

One last historical note for now... I find it ironic that yours truly was born on what many (in this country at least) consider to be a major date in beer history - April 7. On that same day way back in 1933, the great President Franklin Delano Roosevelt legalized beer in the U.S., eight months before the full repeal of Prohibition (on December 5, 1933). April 7 - a date to celebrate, and one that should be made into a national holiday.

Check back often as I'll be constantly updating or adding new things over in the sidebars (like beer festivals, new brewery links, other beer oddities, etc.).

Until next time... keep the beer frosty.

Cheers to Beer!