So, instead of focusing on one movie, let's do a six pack of 'em... quick shot style!
Extract - 2 1/2 stars. A complete and total snoozer starring Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig, Gene Simmons, and the super hot Mila Kunis. It's directed by Mike Judge (he of Beavis & Butthead fame). And it's still a yawner. You'll spend more time trying to figure out what's on tap at the bar Ben Affleck's character owns than caring what happens next. Watch this with a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon (Any Liquor Store, In Your Neighborhood) by your side cuz watching this makes you feel as bored and bland as that so called "beer."
The Uninvited - 3 stars. Not bad. A remake of the 2003 Korean chiller Janghwa, Hongryeon, starring a bunch of actors/actresses you don't know and will probably never see again. A few chills and a nice little twist at the end saves this from being a total waste of time. What to drink? At least one bottle of Stop Making Sense, an 11% eis bock, from Trinity Brewing Company (Colorado Springs, Colorado). This will do a few things: first, due to the high ABV it will actually help make sense of the movie, and two, due to the high ABV... you're just not gonna care if it's good or bad.Love Happens - 3 1/2 stars. A romantic comedy with the always smokin' hot Jennifer Aniston and the guy who looks like Jon Bon Jovi (Aaron Eckhart). Cute. Not one of my favorite romcoms, but still worth watching. For this particular chick flick try sucking down a few bottles of Hot Monkey Love, an 11% Old Ale from Pratt Street Ale House (Baltimore, Maryland). You know why.
Zombieland - 2 1/2 stars. WTF is the deal with the hysteria over this flick? It's getting 4.5 stars on Netflix. Sorry, I just don't get it. Typically I love these kind of movies (Shaun of the Dead is epically classic) because killing zombies is always a good time. It has a great cast including Bill Murray, Woody Harrelson, Abigail Breslin, and Jesse Eisenberg. Has some funny scenes (not nearly enough), and a great list of rules to get you through a a zombie apocalypse. Sadly it's just not all that entertaining. It would make for a great party game though. Eat a Twinkie and a drink a brew every time a zombie goes down. A case of Sawtooth Ale from Left Hand (Longmont, Colorado) will work nicely.
Surrogates - 3 1/2 stars. A sci-fi thriller starring Bruce Willis, James Cromwell and Ving Rhames. Set in the near future where humans hibernate at home while living their lives vicariously through robot surrogates... wait. Don't people who play World of Warcraft kinda do that? I kid! Sorta. While not a WoWer myself, I do play City of Heroes, so I get it. Surrogates is just the kind of movie that begs for any brew from Lazy Boy Brewing in Everett, Washington.
Orphan - 4 stars. In this thriller-chiller a family's baby dies during child birth. Hoping to patch the emotional hole in their lives they decide to adopt 9-year-old from an orphanage. Good plan! Boy, do they regret that decision. This was pretty damn good actually. As the huge twist plays out you'll be going ICK and DOUBLE ICK. Stars a few folks you've seen in other flicks like Peter Sarsgaard, CCH Pounder and Vera Farmiga. The one you want to pay attention to though is Isabelle Fuhrman who plays 9-year-old Esther (pictured left). Creeptastically amazing! One beer is perfectly suited for this movie, and chances are you can't get it. It's the collabrew between New Albanian Brewing Company (New Albany, Indiana) and The Livery (Benton Harbor, Michigan) called... Le Douche Mental Imperial Belgian IPA. The name says it all.Up next... Law Abiding Citizen! Ooooooh yaaaaa!
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